Has the Nuclear Family Bombed?

This is a reprint from Tandem Vincitur, November 1995

The Barbasol style signs along the country road announced another fortieth birthday. A few days later, I came across a similar display at the other end of the county. “This appears to be getting rather popular,” I thought as I began to mull over in my mind this fascination with the 40th birthday.

Suddenly it dawned on me: This generation that celebrates being over the hill, is the same one that refused to trust anyone over thirty years old. Now we are grown. We are forty-something. But the “Baby Boomers” are still a generation of rebels. Think about it, excepting John Carlson, there are relatively few Harley owners under the age of fifty. Our fifty and sixty year old men are wearing pony tails and our young men are wearing earrings.

Remember, in the sixties, we revolted against authority and demanded self-gratification without responsibility. We would not stand for that male hypocrisy, either. So, we freed our women from the chains of morality – but we bound them to single-parent families, loneliness, frustration and poverty.

What few fathers our immorality has left us, the welfare state has tried to drive away – and the cost in lives is high. We do not have a standard for families anymore. Children raised in divided homes or single parent families, see little distinction of roles between mother and father. The seed society has planted has grown into weeds: We have homosexuals parading their perversion in the streets, demanding to be recognized as “family” and radical feminists demand special rights over men.

We have all but abolished morality and are horrified that education has decayed. We have abdicated responsibility and are perplexed that parents have lost their authority. Our children waste away on the streets and in the shopping malls but we resent the state’s latest efforts to manipulate their career selection.

Look at our society. We have willingly fallen into the hands of the behavior controllers and the social architects. We cannot parent – and we need civil government to parent us. We are dependent upon our encounter groups. We want pastors who will make us feel good and build our self-esteem. Our repentance and our religion is one of warm feelings and charity, not one of obedience and responsibility.

Love covers a multitude of sins – and our sins we cover. We are positive, but we are lost. People who stand for the truth are considered to be excessive and extreme. Biblical fundamentalism is decried as the agent of guilt, discontent and misery – it is negative.

What will remedy the problem? What will bring strong families to be the norm in our society again? Hosea 4:6 tells us that when we ignore God, He will ignore our children. His word is true and we have seen the fruit of our immorality, lack of repentance and the transfer of our worship to the state. We have lost a generation of our children to drugs, immorality and aimlessness.

Can we change our god back from the state to the One God, the Almighty, our Creator and Savior? That is really going to take a leap of faith because many people, including professing Christians, believe we need the civil government to help us with our dysfunctional families and dysfunctional lives.

Maybe it is time that we realize that ALL families are dysfunctional. God made us with flaws. If we were perfect, we would not need God. If we rely upon Him, we will make our families whole. Conversely, if we rebel, we will disarray accordingly. We need to build a plan to bring our families back together:

1. The Bible is clear that Godly fathers are necessary for strong, moral families. Fathers must stand up for Christ in their families and in society. Joshua said as for him and his family, “we will serve the Lord.” [Jos. 24:15].

2. We must teach our children the ways of the Lord. (Deu 4:9-10, 6:7, 11:19-20).

3. We must live in obedience to the Lord and we must teach our children to do the same. God’s law is not idle words – it is our life. (Deu 32:46-47, 1Ki 2:3, Ecc 12:13).

4. Recognizing Christ’s authority, we must get civil government out of the family business. (1Sa 1:21, 3:13, 22:14-21, 1Ki 18:17-18, Isa 60:1-3, Jer 35:12-19, Mic 6:8, Mat 28:18, 1Ti 5:3-16, Jam 1:27).

It is a sad commentary that more than half the American families are broken. Point number one is not possible in families that have been ravished by the lowered standards of society. God, however, does not call us to accomplish more than He has made us able. (Dan 3:17-18, 1Co 10:11-14, 2Co 9:8). If we repent and rely upon Him, He will carry us and give us the ability to live in obedience to Him. (Isa 26:3-4, 7, Joe 2:11, 25). God has promised to be a Father to those who walk in obedience. (2Co 6:18).

Many Christians will give lip-service to these four elements. But few have thought them through to the point they are willing to live Godly lives. We say that we serve the Lord, but do our careers come first? maybe our toys? or our leisure? Are we ready for principle number four?

Val Stevens has been traveling across the State, exposing the excesses of DSHS and the destruction that they are wreaking havoc upon our families. People are naturally incensed and many people want to do away with the department altogether. Although Rep. Stevens is a proponent of this solution, she asks her audience a poignant question: Are Christians ready to assume the responsibility for the truly needy if we are successful in getting the state out of the family and compassion business?

Consider the question well. We may be willing to settle for government intrusion if that frees us to spend our time on our careers, our toys and our leisure. We may be willing to continue to purchase the evasion of our responsibilities, through taxes. We may be willing to accept the destruction of our families and society to accomplish our personal comfort.

Or, maybe we will be willing to pick up the ball and accept God’s command to stand in the gap for the family, the poor, the needy and the children. (Pro 29:7, Eze 22:29-30, Jam 1:27). Will we spend our time, money and talent helping those who need to see the face of God? The kingdom of heaven has been forcefully advancing, and forceful men lay hold of it. (Mat 11:12).